Monday, April 25, 2005
Families only come when...
Some earthshocking bad news happened in my family recently. Grandma's side u see.
I always regard the family tree as something very hard to comprehend and would take awhile for me to adjust to how i should address people. anyway, its like...
Grandma's Sis --> gave birth --> Baby Girl --> married --> Husband passed away. It's due to the sudden stop in breathing while he slp. He has a narrow nose since a car accident 12 years ago and his breathing capabilities are impaired while slping. It's just not expected that he can passed away all of a sudden at the young age of 43. He leaves behind a loving wife, and 3 young children (Age 16, 10, and 5).
With children so young, wife has never worked before since they were married and she's left with a sudden shock that she have to shoulder the entire household. It's really really sad. I'm upset I felt like crying lah. Though I only meet them every year for Chinese New Year, I can't help but feel he's a nice nice guy who is patient and kind to his children and even to elderly.
Grandma and mom went to funeral and related that almost my whole family, including my aunts(bro's sisters who are married) also went to it. I was pretty surprised because extended family seldom does such stuff. And come to think of it, yes, my family meets everyone and everyone else with the surname Lim only when there are joyous occasions or big time calamity that happens to our family. On ordinary days, I remember that my aunt seldom rings my grandma up to check if she's fine and all. Sigh, my family has never had a sense of closeness with the other sibs of my grandma, only when the important events strike. It only plagues me with doubt and loneliness to know I have to face the future all by myself, that I may be lose touch with my cousins when I am old and all. But then again, I rejoice at the fact that no matter how busy the other relatives are, when we need each other in times of solace and how destitue we can get, we are comforted to know that we still have relatives among us who cares.
Watched a hongkong drama there's this guy who ask the girl what kinda animals she will pick to be with her during her trip out of the jungle, subsequently u decide to choose the first animal to the last which u are most unwilling to let go off. Cow, Tiger, Sheep, Horse, Monkey. i tink they represent something in life like career, love, family, money, and pride. How we prioritise our issues in life has a lot to do with the choice we make from the top to the bottom lah.
For me, I would choose Tiger, Monkey, Horse, Sheep, Cow.
It means, I will choose to let go of my pride, let go of money next, let go of my family, let go of my love, then i let go of my career.
Quite bad leh me. I dun foresee myself as a career women in the first place.
Tell me what you peeps will choose!
Friday, April 22, 2005
Worry no more in NP, Worry in Future now.
I've received shocking grades for my results. I am not rejoicing. Just pure shock lah. I guess nobody should feel complacent about what we have. You may do well in Poly, but there's always bigger challenges we may face in life. I prefer to be blessed with good health and happiness and abundance of
moolahMet Mabel my long long reli long (we've lost count of years 15 i tink) best fren since kindergarden we've known each other so well. She's the farniest idiot I've known and I guess it runs in her family since I read her brother's friendster alot of people say he's mad too.
Life is at the point of many crossroads. I dunno what to do about it man. A few days back I was watching tv, they were interviewing kids what are their greatest fear in life so far lah. As kids, I expected answers like " I scared of ghosts the most, i Scared of MaMA caning". haha their response was " I scared Fail Or don't do well exams den i kena cane." Abo the second response is " I scared I don't meet the expectations of my parents' about my grades".
Eh please leh those children like lost their childhood because they only fret about their future at such age! In US and all that place they fear kena knocked down by car leh those kids. I think ah our children here very early mature liao. No wonder we struggle so hard in this country to make our ends meet. Haii. So sad. I don't want my kid nxt time also fret abt studies and don't have child innocence or fun in him one. And I don't wanna fret abt my kids' studies cos I want them to succeed in life also leh. What a complicated world.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
MRT shit crap on FORUM
There is 1 interesting stuff that I've read from the papers which are worth discussing about now.
I'm sure in TODAY newspapers there are a surging amount of debate between whether a regular passenger should give up their seats for someone who will greatly benefit from it. alas most of the people were complaining that passengers like to read or sms or talk or do wadever they are doing while they are sitting down comfortably, and ignore the pregnant ladies or someone who's in great need of a seat right infront of them. Hello, how do u explain if some stranger was staring around at u meh? Moreover, when u r seated comfortably of cos u rather do ur own stuff. for me especially, i love to read or sms lor. So dun make it seem like passengers pretend nv see u in need of a seat. And somemore most of the people in need of seats are standing rather far from passengers and they have no idea whether the fella nids the seat or not. Rather than not, why must we offer the seat to them and not let them ask if they could have the seat? Im sure most regular passengers will be glad to give them lah. Just don't be shy singaporeans. hah.
I'm getting more worried abt such dire consequences of being wrote on by the people who buay song me that everytime i am sitting on the mrt, i have to look left and right to see if anyone needs the seat more than i do. and im paying adult fare and I sure don't think i deserve such a treatment on the public transport. why only on MRT and not on bus is such things happening eh? Wadever it is, its nt fair to just stereotype singaporeans as bo xim or mean ppl just becos they dun offer a seat to people who are in need of seats lah.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
how bad are u to elders?
I was on the bus when I saw this little girl about 10 years old with her mom and grandma. She was unwilling to go to her family gathering at somebody's house after her tuition at some place in Orchard Road and defied with her explanations that she could find her way home and feed herself with a meal from Burger King.
Her grandma looked like she's didn't know the standard price of a burger, and gave $2 to her. The kid said "Aiyo, this amount of money eat what sai."
Seriously I am pretty pissed upon watching this scenario that this girl of age 10 can do. And her Grandma huh, was so kind and tried her best to persuade her to go. If I'm her mom, I will just say " Aiyah u go n find money for ur own food, u dun cum ur business lah u starve to death lor! " I was rather appalled by her attitude.
When we were little, we always wanted to fly out of our own nest, hoping to see the bigger and better horizons that we always admired from far. Now at my age, though I'm not too old to comment, all I wanted is to fly back to my own nest and have my loved ones pamper me like never before in the past.
I missed the good ol' days when my cousins and I were fooling around when we were little. As we reached secondary school ages, all of us seem to grow distant, we only met during chinese new year and the only word we could muster was " Happy Chinese New Year". It's rather sad to see this happening to my own family life which was a lot more blissful and happier in the past. Of course, such matters were not triggered by age, it was caused by misunderstandings between my grandma and my aunt.
How much time are we left with by living, and how stubborn can human nature get?
I am ashamed to say I used to behave like that girl in the past (
not as worse as her ok), but as my age catches up with me, I guess I've started to change since I was 15 or 16 lah. To repay for my guilt, I am constantly giving in to the older generation and giving them help as much as I can in the household.
My conscience is clear.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Goals.
Perhaps I should have been much more diligent in my studies.
But I guess all throughout the years of education, I only got more intelligent or felt the pressure when I grew older.
Even when I was in sec school I feel nonchalent about my grades, I felt they were just merely have to pass or do well to get away from my parents' caning, or killing my ass off if I don't do well.
When I started poly, I felt it was just a get over and done with thingie because I had no intention of furthering my education or I will just run to Aus and get that damn degree after that. Aiyah all in all, I was very bo chup.
I don't know why up till today paper chase in Singapore is like so damn important. I don't understand why we need a degree to prove ourselves that we can work. But I sure do know that my goal in life is to earn lots of money to buy things that I always wanted, or deeply knew its unachievable to have.
Please watch out for my dreams of owning an ipod, an olympus digital cam, and a new tag-heurer, an dior bag and wallet, the list will stopped at here for now.
Read ahdokboy's blog and realise that every gal will behave somewhat like his gf one lah. nobody is behaving themselves if they are very understanding or act so nice and gentle like the perfect stepford wife to their bf. for my case my boy has been the one who finds my outburst of temper perfectly normal and acceptable.
i realise my digicam spoil liao all the pics i take always very bright and reflective.ack. no money to buy new 1 yet but i am lookin for software to edit the pics to look somewhat decent. my card in my cam quite big sia got 100 plus fotos i nv upload still can store. aniwae im nt very fotogenic these days wif my cam since its acting like this so pls bear wif it. here's one very cartoon pic of my boy and i on chinese new year's period i duno which day lah but i tink looks damn funny.
Yes No Yes No? haha it was taken in a sequence of shots like once u press the button it will take ur pics in a neoprint sequence u noe. like capture 1, capture 2, capture 3.. and so on. "Au-natural" okay. And see that damn bright lighting its so bad its nt even the place we went that looks that bright.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
status in monetary values.
There are two types of people on Earth.
One who likes to spend easily, doesn't think of their future and like spending it all away ludicrously on expensive things, and don't care about sales, offers, and cheap things because they know they can afford it jolly well. They simply don't save.
There's another type who saves when there's a chance, eats cheaper if there's an opportunity. They are normally the ones you can find when you have trouble because I'm pretty sure they have quite an amount of money saved in their personal savings.
The first type will look down on the second type. WHY?
The first type thinks they are some kinda high class freaks. They simply laugh at you when you rush to a sale, or they just dun agree with you that you should cherish an opportunity to buy cheaper things or save your money up for rainy days.
Rainy days do happen you know. Do you think you can depend on friends and relatives to give u a helping hand like lending you money when you are seriously broke and poor? Yes I'm sure they will, but how long will you pay them back? How far can you survive with their money borrowed?
Oh my dear frens, don't worry that I am poor now. I just blog out my thoughts. I dislike the upper class people because they simply do not understand what us middle class or low class people feels deep inside. I am not jealous of wealth, I just dislike the fact that they throw money or spend money as though they have abundance amount of it. I believe that we should work hard for our money and save it up, even giving it for our future generation would be much more beneficial than wasting it excessively. I am not stingy mind you, but if there's opportunities to save, I will do so. Please note that majority of my clothes are bought from a sale, or after discount. There's no reason I should shop for clothes or things when there're no sale going on. And I will still continue to buy the stuff I like even if there's no sale. That's after carefully thought upon for about 1 day or even 30 mins plus. Rich folks will take 1 glance and buy it.
Just a serious question to post out. How many of you will lend me money when I am broke and have not enough a single cent to feed myself?
Friday, April 01, 2005
If given a chance to live.
I had a pure mad tv marathon last night. I swear I'm gonna be watching television every thursday nights from 10.30 all the way. Ermm. It'll be "The-OC" starring beautiful clothes, beautiful people and their daily lives at such a hot and ala glamorous place with sooo much plenty of juice in the story. Then, it'll be "One Tree Hill" starring the Chad Michael Murray that dude from Cinderella Story and a few fabulous cute looking boys. It got me hooked though I haven't watched any of these before. I'm like in the middle of the story and I can catch up now by reading the show synopsis of every season! Last was Everwood. Wah lao so zhun I was catching the last episode of it. The ending was so sad, though I didn't even watch an episode of it before, just watching the last episode can sum up half the story lor. And yeah, that show is damn power because it got me crying buckets of tears.
Notice that these 3 shows involved people living in in different regions. The Orange Country, The Tree Hill, and Everwood - some place in Colorado. God, I want to visit US 1 day! I want to see the pretty scenary that I've watched on television! And it involves lots of affairs, relationships, both adults and kids. Wah imagine, some 16 yr old kids getting married can! but aye, they were really in love lah.
Oh yes, it pretty much sums up a question to my readers. If you have to operate ur brain, and its very very risky as your life might be either prolonged or dead. Would you write some letter or have an agreement with your surgeon that he should just let u die if you were to be found as a different person, or a totally useless person to Earth even after the operation?
Aiya the answer is pretty much obvious rite... I bet you peeps will rather be off dead than have your life prolonged as some different person or a vegetable relying on others... If I don't get back my memories of my past, I will rather die as well. I don't want to torment my loved ones by pretending I do not know them at all. How to develop feelings ALL OVER AGAIN sia? Eh... This kind of memories is like 100% gone 1 hor, not like amnesiac can recover 1 hor i mean. Go watch Everwood lah, you will know what I mean. OOPS, that show aint on in singapore anymore. I must buy all the shows vcd even if it costs my life 100 bucks i oso dun care ah.. damn bloody nice.
11:53 AM